AS AMERICA CELEBRATES IT’S 250TH BIRTHDAY, I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE COUNTRY AND PEOPLE OF FRANCE FOR THE FOLLOWING:

PROVIDING THE NAVEL BLOCKADE WHICH PREVENTED THE BRITISH FROM RECEIVING SUPPLIES AND REINFORCEMENTS, WHICH LED TO THEIR DEFEAT AT YORKTOWN, THEIR HUMANE AND KIND TREATMENT TOWARDS BLACK AMERICAN SOLDIERS DURING WW1, AND THEIR GIFT TO AMERICA OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY. I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO FRANCE’S NEIGHBOR BELGIUM FOR OUR IDIOT PRESIDENT’S INTERFERENCE IN THE FIFA WORLD CUP PLAY.